29. I turned 29 yesterday.
When I was in 5th
grade I invited every girl in my grade to my birthday party. I hand wrote invitations and my mom drove me
all around town to stick the cards in each girl’s mailbox. Back then RSVP’ing was practically legally
binding, and everyone did it. Guess how
many RSVPs I got back??? 0. ZERO. Nada. NONE.
Still, I held out hope that some of the girls would
come.
My mom said if I had gotten
back any RSVPs she’d stay and help me throw a party. But since no one was coming, she was headed
off to a motorcycle rally with my dad.
This was their yearly get-away for just the two of them, they’d been
attending this for years.
Sometimes it fell directly
on my birthday, sometimes my birthday was their recovery day.
Either way, I felt screwed.
Just to be sure I covered
all my bases- I got out the big heavy black and yellow phone book, looked up
the phone numbers of each girl, and called them myself.
Dial tone… The beep of each number
being pressed.. The ringing… Oh the anxiety.. Then the “Hello?”
I got the same answer each
time. They were sorry, but they couldn’t
attend. Some even felt like they needed
to let me know it was 4th of July weekend, so they would be spending
it with their family.
Bastards.
I wanted to spend the day
with my family. Or their
family, I didn’t really care. I just hated
being alone.
When party day came my
parents were out of town. I have no idea where my older brothers were, but they
weren’t home. I’m guessing with friends.
I cleaned up the house, tried to gather snacks
from the cupboards, and penned birthday signs out of notebook paper and taped
them to the door. I did all I could to make
it seem like a real PARTY.
Two girls showed up, hours
after the official party time had ended, and not even because they knew it was my
birthday. They were at my house for a
total of about 15 minutes. The first
girl was a classmate who came because she was out wandering the town on her own
(uninvolved parents?), and the second was the little neighbor girl who just came
over to play. The first girl tried
teaching us how to roll our own cigarettes, which was pencil shavings and that
same notebook paper that I had made into my birthday sign.
I still get flashbacks to
that day when I use our electric pencil sharpener.
Although the skill seemed
interesting, I knew it was wrong, wrong, wrong.
I knew my parents would beat my butt (really, and it was legal back then)
if they found out, so I kicked her out.
She said I was stuck up, and she never liked me after that.
You know what though? Now at 29, looking back, she never liked me before
that, so I suppose it’s no biggie. Ugh,
why did I waste tears on that?
I’m pretty sure she’s still
rolling her own cigs today, although from what I know (thanks Facebook) she’s
upgraded from pencil shavings to the hard stuff. Poor girl.
I really do wish I could’ve helped her.
The point is, even though that
“party” sucked, I tried my best using what my 10 year old self had available. That’s important in all areas of life. Parties are not excluded. They don’t need to be big and fancy; they
just need to be real.
I did get one surprise that
birthday... I actually still have
it. Stay tuned, I’ll take a picture and share
it with you in my next blog post.

Nice post!
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