A Slightly Better Wife: July 2014

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Practical Tips For Being A SLIGHTLY BETTER WIFE

A Slightly Better Wife is not what I am, but what I strive to be.
Here are just a handful of things I've been doing this week to work at being a better wife.

1. Be ready for sex when he is, even initiate it sometimes. Yeah okay, so this falls under TMI, but I'm a big girl, I do what I want. Sex within marriage is absolutely okay, and in our relationship I'd even say it's necessary to keep the peace- for both of us! It used to be pretty one sided, and then one sided the other way, but now we're working it out and it's a beautiful {abundant} thing. So if he makes the move and I really feel like saying no or making an excuse, but can't come up with a good one, we just do it anyway. It's not a chore or a hassle, it's actually rather enjoyable and I'm always glad I didn't back out.

Okay, moving on....

2. Having meals and snacks ready. I'm terrrrrrrrrible at this. Really, I used to rock at menu planning, but I've just lost my passion for it. I'm using my new planner to write in what or where we are eating each night so there aren't any temper tantrums (from momma OR the baby) at meal time.

3. Putting my phone down when he's talking to me. I didn't realize how much this bothered him, until he told me. Now I see other people doing it and it makes me so sad. LOOK UP people, there's a great big world out there.

4. I'm trying not to complain about things I've already complained about. I mean I really just shouldn't complain at all, but it's gonna happen, so at least I can bring up new subjects, not beat away at the old ones. Yes, he knows how much someone drives me crazy when they post super similar pictures to the ones I posted (copycats have always been a pet peeve of mine, I guess I should praise myself for being a trendsetter). Yes he understands how many loads of laundry I've done and what a chore it was. And yeah, he really could go without hearing about how much it bothers me that the floor is covered in crumbs AGAIN when I just cleaned it a few hours ago.

5. Praying for him. I pray for him often and always, but I'm trying to focus my prayers into something deeper, something more real. I'd love to share about this in another post soon!

So this is what I'm doing and what is working out alright over here. How about you?

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Fun Friday! Only The Best Educational Games

One thing that really worked for us last school year was designating FRIDAY as our FUN day throughout the fall. So from our start day (mid-August) until our Christmas break we only did traditional learning 4 days a week. Friday was set aside for running errands, free reading, arts and crafts, free play, and a lot of GAMES! Here are our top 15 game purchases from our 2013-2014 school year. Oh, and of course you don't need to be a homeschooler to enjoy these games!

The prices on these right now are really great, and if you have Amazon Prime you can score free shipping (if not, you can sign up here to Start a Free Trial Now ).

I've been a Prime member for years and LOVE it!

If you don't have Amazon Prime these items ship free when you spend $35. These all also make great gifts, so buy one for yourselves and one to give!

Here is a very real look at our game closet! It's not Pinterest worthy, but it works for us!

This post contains my affiliate links. You may read more about why I use affiliate links here.

Where I've "BEEN", Keepin' it Real

I don't have too much new to post right now, but that's only because I've been so busy trying to nail down our curriculum choices for the 2014-2015 school year. I've been spending a lot of time here: Children's Books, and here: Educational and Teaching Books on Amazon. I will get a post up soon that has our plan for the year. Until then, please check back at what we used last year if you are looking for a little homeschool planning inspiration.

Also to keep things real, I want to share with you my status from my personal Facebook page today:

What does a #boymom do post outdoor church service? This. That is after she shakes the bark off her clothes and cleans the grass out of her hair & shoes. Really though, it was a beautiful outdoor service that I really needed today. The devil is the enemy. Not the neighbor, the friend, the spouse, but the devil. God is good, he will show up and rescue you and me. He will pull the weeds so the crops will produce abundantly. Just keep on loving people and serving Him.

Verse of the day: LOVE

Friday, July 18, 2014

A Slightly Better Wife- GreenAir Oil Diffuser Tutorial and Review

(Affiliate Link)

Thursday, July 17, 2014

28 Random truths about ME

1. I was proposed to and broke up with, on my 18th birthday. It was symbolic to me of how I always get my hopes up and get crapped on every birthday. I'm not bitter about that or anything... :/ I suppose it just comes with having a birthday so close to a holiday.

2. My "bad" birthdays are still not as bad as what others are facing, and for that I'm grateful to God.

3. I left college & my amazing job to be a stay at home mom, out of necessity. It's a long painful story with a redeeming end where I got to adopt my sweet "little girl", who is now the big girl in our family picture.

4. Friendship has always been and I'm assuming always will be a struggle for me, because of my own self confidence issues that were formed throughout grade school.

5. My ideal day is one where I'm able to take naps, eat out for every meal, walk to anything I want to see, and do it all with my little loves.

6. I dreamt of being a traveling nurse, eventually a doctor, and that I'd cure Alzheimer's. That didn't happen. But it's okay, because I just learned that right now, being a mom is "enough".

7. I didn't attend church while I was in school. I wanted so badly to be invited by someone, to learn about God, to learn how to find true happiness in Him, not others. If only I had the courage to go alone. I know now, God had a different plan for how I'd meet him.

8. This year we forfeited a big vacation for a top of the line washer and dryer set. That's when I knew I was maturing.

9. I was the self proclaimed (later I convinced everyone else too) "Head Master Chef" in a pizza place for 4 yrs.

10. Pizza and watermelon are my favorite foods.

11. I spend too much time researching and not enough time just "going with it".

12. My greatest fear is being forgotten after my time on earth is through.

13. Sometimes I wear my husband's socks. Like I'm wearing them right now...

14. Adoption holds a special place in my heart and I'd love to have the chance to give a little one (or two.. or more..) a forever family, if it's God's will.

15. I greatly enjoy thrift stores, department stores, warehouse stores, online stores, and shopping in general!

16. I find joy in giving, but have a hard time accepting/receiving.

17. I married my first serious boyfriend (what does that say about the proposal I got at 18.. yeah, it must not have been as big of a deal as I made it to be at the time). A decision I'll never {again} regret. We had some rough times, but without the struggle, we wouldn't have found our strength. And there's a whole lot of strength there now. :)

18. I pretty much always paint my toenails pink. "LOLA" by ZOYA it's my fav. I prefer to keep my fingernails clear since I cannot for the life of me paint them perfectly.

19. I admire beautifully decorated pristine homes, but the energy in so many of them just bring me down.

20. The most visually appealing place I've ever experienced was Alaska. There I saw breathtaking beauty like I had never seen anywhere else in the world. The scenery, oh the scenery, it's just magical.

21. I love all things music. Listening, creating, singing. Unfortunately I have a life long incurable case of stage fright. I could kick the boy that told me I sounded like a frog in 3rd grade. I'd probably be wiser to kick myself for believing him.

22. Even when I fail at something I feel like I can try it again and get different results. I'm not sure if this is courageous, or just dumb.

23. I unexplainedly (is that even a word?) lost my memory a few years back. Frustrated by what I was going through, I rehabilitated myself through diet and mind exercises. I now try to fill my kids lives with memories and take plenty of pictures to help them jog their memories, in case they are ever to forget all the fun we've had together.

24. I have a slight obsession with white boards. Is there a deeper meaning here? Maybe like how things can so easily be erased from them and they can be made white as snow again? or maybe just because they're so versatile and don't leave clutter like paper does. Hmm, who knows. They're just great.

25. I love repainting old furniture. I'm not great at it, but I take much joy in the process.

26. My favorite place in the world is in my husband's arms. Cheesy, yeah, but so true.

27. I recharge my momma batteries by laying on the deck and reading a good book or listening to a gentle tune on the radio.

28. My favorite bible verse is: Proverbs 12:26 “The righteous should choose his friends carefully,
For the way of the wicked leads them astray”.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Birthday Giveaway: Seasons of a Mother's Heart

I wanted to hop on and share with you quick where I'm finding my homeschooling encouragement today!

I'm a part of a book club on Instagram (use hashtag #HomeEducator to find us and other excellent homeschooling posts) where we are working through the book called Seasons of a Mother's Heart, 2nd edition. There is still time to join in, as we check-in each Tuesday to discuss what we've read. I'm acting all cool like I'm a part of the group, but to be honest, I just got my book YESTERDAY! haha. So to all the members who have been a part of this since day one, THANK YOU for welcoming me in! :)

Even if you aren't interested in joining the book club or can't find time to fit it in right now, I think this is an excellent book full of encouragement that all homeschooling moms should have on their bookshelves! This is the perfect book to loan out when you encounter a momma who confesses that she could use a little inspiration in the homeschooling department. I love what a tight-knit community we are, don't you? :)

As promised, I am hosting giveaways to celebrate MY BIRTHDAY! So this first giveaway is for your very own copy of Seasons of a Mother's Heart, 2nd edition!

If you're interested in entering, use the Rafflecopter link on my facebook page: www.Facebook.com/ASlightlyBetterWife
or ---> http://tinyurl.com/oqjdxpy

If you'd like to buy the book, would you consider purchasing it through my Amazon Affiliate link (by clicking on any of the book links above, or clicking on this picture below)? You can see my post here about my affiliate relationship with Amazon. Basically your purchases provide me with a little extra income to help support our homeschool journey!

Head Down, He Walked Away. he.was.mad.

As I was sitting on my back step, planner and pencil in hand, I listened to the group of neighborhood children playing Baseball in an adjacent yard. The breeze blew past and shooed the flies off of my sun tanned feet. I looked down at my chipped bright pink nail polish {hmm, I should touch these up. Repainting just seems like too much work right now}. Then I heard my daughter yell out in a very compassionate tone “What’s wrong? Are you going home?” She sounded so sweet.

I looked up to see a neighbor boy walking, head down, straight towards home. He.was.mad. As I thought back a few minutes to what was going on, no one was being outwardly mean, but the other boys were making up their own rules as they went. Maybe they were actual rules, I really don’t know.

My son and his buddy (the one walking away) just wanted to play. They really weren’t that into the game, but they needed more players.

I called out to see if he was alright. He peeked in my direction for a nanosecond, then put his head back down and kept walking home.

I smiled.

I smiled because I’m proud that he doesn’t blow up in anger when things don’t go his way. But then my smile disappeared as I wondered how HE felt inside.

Sure, it’s more convenient for everyone when we just walk away. And surely it feels better than someone blowing up at us. I think there is a middle ground somewhere though. You can’t run and hide when you’re upset, and you can’t explode like a volcano.

If you live life ignoring your problems, the problems don’t really go away. They’re still there, somewhere, maybe in the back of someone’s mind, maybe in someone’s heart. Maybe still in your own?

Here’s to finding the middle ground in conflict resolution. For all little kids out on the backyard ball fields and for all us adults navigating the battlefield of daily life.

Photo credit: goingslo / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Disclosure Statement: Affiliate Programs

In the spirit of full disclosure, my website does contain some affiliate links, which means that I may get a commissions if you decide to purchase anything from the companies I am affiliated with. I only recommend products that I use and love myself, so I know you’ll be in good hands. You will not pay more when buying a product through my link. In fact, I oftentimes am able to negotiate a lower rate (or bonuses) not available elsewhere.
Your support of my blog helps me host giveaways as well as purchase quality education materials for my family.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your support!

Birthday Giveaway!

It’s been 1 week since I celebrated my BIRTHDAY with my friends and family. Now I’d like to celebrate with YOU! Every so often I’ll be giving away one of my favorite things! It may have to do with any of my hot topics: Marriage.Homeschool.Motherhood, or it may not! Sometimes it’s a big ticket item, most times it’s not. How fun/random is that? Keep an eye out {HERE ON MY BLOG} for details on how YOU can enter to win!

Friday, July 11, 2014

The Fault In Our Stars

This post contains affiliate links. A Slightly Better Wife (Quincey B.) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

I just saw that The Fault in Our Stars is playing at our local theater this week! That sure came quick! I really wanted to read the book first though. I know I wouldn't have time to get the paper copy here and read it (even with my Amazon Prime. Momma just has no free time right now). Perhaps I could read the Kindle version before we go see it though! Anyone read this yet? How about seen the movie? No Spoilers!

Coffee, Anyone?

If I have noticed one trend more than any other amongst mommy bloggers, I would say it's that a majority of us seem to have a genuine love of coffee.

Really. Check out the "about me" section of almost any blog, Instagram or FB fan page and you'll soon see what I'm talking about.

Go ahead, open a new browser (don't close me!) and type in your favorite blogger... Find her "about me" page... She likes coffee, right?

See, I wasn't kidding!

I prefer my coffee "in bulk". ;) Because of this, I primarily drink mine "black" to avoid consuming too many chemicals found in sweeteners.

I also prefer to make mine with a French press vs. a traditional coffee maker. This has little to do with the flavor (although it is better in the press), and a whole lot to do with the fact that a French press fits in my cupboard better, and I cannot stand appliances on the counter.

Occasionally I do like to treat myself though. Not that chemical sweeteners are a great treat, really. There are worse things though, right?

Here are some yummy coffee concoctions:
Coffee, milk, & brown sugar. -A big Thank You goes to a neighbor/friend for introducing me to this one! This would be my top pick for a sweet homemade coffee treat.

Coffee, sweetened with honey.

Coffee, pumpkin pie spice, milk, honey.

Coffee, frozen in popsicle molds. Feed it to the kids and watch their reaction as they learn it isn't the root beer flavor they thought it was. Then smile with joy as they enjoy it anyway because they've inherited your love of coffee.

Coffee, milk, caramel ice cream topping/syrup.

Coffee, honey, & a slash of milk topped with whip cream and sprinkled with crushed up candy canes. I hoard candy canes from my father-in-law's Christmas tree just for this (and for sprinkling over vanilla ice cream on New Year's Eve).

Coffee cubes- Coffee can also be frozen in ice cube trays and blended into some delicious cold drinks using these same combinations!

Everyone's taste buds are different, and experimenting is fun. With each of these just use trial and error to find out how much you like of each ingredient.

My second preferred coffee option is "with friends". Do you have a free morning to invite a friend over to share a cup of Joe? :)

Thursday, July 10, 2014

FYI: This Is The Summer We Begged For All Winter

FYI: Our {semi-local} Target was setting up their "Back to School" area when I was there yesterday. August is coming quick! Don't let your summer slip away. Be intentional about having fun! We've been to the beach (with friends) twice this week, even though I'm pms-ing, even though it's a 30 min. drive, even though the thought of taking 3 kids the beach nearly stress paralyzed me, even though we have other things on the calendar in the same day, etc, etc...BUT YA KNOW WHAT? We've had a blast! Summer will end, 'even though' you don't want it to. So get out and enjoy life.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Moments From the Minivan: Tumbling Camp

Back story: My 6 yr old has a phobia of everything. Really.every.single.thing. I've never met a kid so cautious. Once we took him to T-ball, at his request. He panicked, threw himself down on the ball field {in front of God and everyone}, screamed and cried that he wanted a *new* family and he hated us for making him join a team sport, because if we really knew him we would know he can't play sports! Later he admitted he just wanted the team t-shirt, but didn't actually want to play.
SO THIS IS HUGE! I took my big kids to tumbling camp for the first time tonight.. I knew my girl would love it, but I was sure I was just making a donation towards the cause for my boy, because he wouldn't probably participate anyway. My boy gets in the van afterwards, full of smiles and says "Mom! I WANT to go there for 10 days!" 10 days is a big deal to a six year old.
My heart is so happy. My daughter says this is a dream come true to finally get to tumble and my boy has found something he isn't afraid of!
This day ROCKS! Thank you Jesus!

Practical Laundry Tips

Sign this to the tune of Let it go:
The laundry piles high on the
couch tonight
Not a maid to be seen.
My living room is consumed
Yes, it's all for me.

Disclaimer: This is only two loads of laundry, usually there is FAR more.

As a homemaker I feel it's my responsibility to be sure that there are clean clothes available for everyone in the house. Now I am an odd duck who finds joy in doing laundry. I mean everything except putting it away, but I have little people to help with that. :)

Step 1-
Gather all the laundry into one spot.
Step 2-
Wash & dry all the loads you have for the day.
Step 3-
As a load comes out of the dryer I pull out shirts and hang them up right away, the rest get thrown on the couch. If any shirts ended up missing out on the hang up step in the laundry room, they get flattened out nicely over the arm of the couch.
Step 4-
Wait for all the clean laundry to collect on the couch throughout the day. It's not worth folding and leaving it there to be unfolded by the short people in the house. It's also not worth making several little trips to put away one sock or a towel when I know there will be many more to go with it.
Step 5-
Once all the CLEAN laundry is on the couch I separate into piles like this:
The Fashionista, The Drummer, Momma, bathroom washcloths/towels, kitchen napkins/towels, Hubby's socks.
I fold bath towels, kitchen towels, my hubby's undershirts & underwear. I only fold those because they fit better into the drawer this way. And I occasionally will fold The Baby's clothes as I go.
That's it, The rest are left as messy piles.
The big kids are responsible for putting their own clothes away in their rooms, & in the right places. They know that mom won't iron their clothes if they put them away in a sloppy manner. So they are really good about taking care of them. :)

We all pitch in to put all the other piles away. This method of folding, sorting and putting away goes really quick!

Tips:
* Pretty much always hang up shirts as they come out of the dryer. No ironing!
*Teach kids to put their own clothes away, make it simple. This does not need to be fun, and they don't need a reward. It should just be one of their responsibilities. We start this expectation at about 2-3 years of age.
*Buy all matching socks for each person.
Then you aren't stuck trying to figure out which sock belongs to which person and where the other mate is for it. If each person has 20 of the same socks then they just get thrown in a sock drawer and pulled out two at a time, no more matching up! Can you tell mismatched socks were a time consuming joy sucker of mine? ;)

Separated piles

The Big Kids' piles get thrown behind the couch.. Looks like someone changed too much and someone else hardly at all. Would you believe it's the BOY that changes his clothes too much here?

What is your method or what are your practical laundry tips?
You can post in the comments or if you blog, make a post about it and put it in the comments so I can link it up here.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Target Cartwheel For Beginners

One of my favorite no-hassle money savers is shopping at Target and using the smartphone app called CARTWHEEL. A lot of people I talk to have heard of cartwheel, but they don’t really “get it”. So I’ll try to explain a little bit about it here.

What it is: An app for smartphones.

How to use it: Add “offers” to your cartwheel by searching for things you buy, and clicking “add offer” to put them on your list.

At the store, just have the clerk scan your cartwheel barcode on your phone screen. Anything you purchased from your offers list will automatically be discounted at the checkout according to the discount price shown on the app (5% off applesauce, 20% off swimwear, etc).

No coupons to clip, bring along and sort through while you try to push your cart, entertain your toddler, stand on one foot and bark like a dog. Or however it is you do your shopping.

NOTE: Most offers are a limit of 4 (unless it says otherwise in big red letters). For example if you are buying 6 boxes of cereal and want to use the discount on all of them, I’d purchase 4 of them on one receipt, then pay for the other two separately so I could use the barcode again and get the discount on all boxes purchased. You can use your cartwheel barcode up to 6 times a day.

It’s not complicated at all. But it does take a little getting used to, to get good at using it while you shop, vs. loading up the cartwheel with offers before you go shopping. There is a feature to scan barcodes of products as you shop to search for an offer on a particular item you’re looking at. I think that’s a great feature!

Give it a try and let me know if you have any questions!

To date, I have saved a whopping $183.22! That’s by using Cartwheel on things we would’ve already bought anyway! Now if I were to figure in that amount, plus the target paper coupons I’ve used- Then you’d be REALLY impressed with my savings!

Target Cartwheel Needs YOUR Vote!

Hey Target Shoppers! If you're using the Cartwheel app check out this link from Hip2Save with details on how you can vote for one of six great offers to be added to the Cartwheel line up starting July 13th.

Reflections from my 10 yr class reunion

Thoughts the day before my class reunion:
I'm not going! But just in case I do, in the next 24hrs:
Drink water
Avoid carbs
Whiten teeth
Shave legs
Thoughts just hours before the reunion:
Crap, I ate carbs!
Could I buy one of those girdle things? I tried... directly after eating my birthday dinner at the buffet. #fatgirlprobs. So that idea did not work out.
I really wasn't cute in high school, so I'm sure no one is expecting much from me.

Thoughts minutes before waking in the door:
Suck in the tummy.
Smile. Be Happy. Do not show fear.
What if no one remembers me?
I walked by a classmate outside who completely ignored me, but in the ugly-obvious way. Like I saw you, made eye contact, and now I'm going to pretend like I don't know you so you don't bother me... I wanted to leave right then. I begged...My husband wouldn't let me. Who invited him anyway? ;) jk, I'm so glad he coaches me in awkward social situations.

Thoughts post reunion:
To the guys that were jerks in high school, and made no attempt to talk to me tonight, despite me smiling your way or actually saying hi; I hope you are sweet to your wives, instill confidence in your daughters and someday soften your hearts to the whole world.

There were a few people who went out of their way to say hi to me. I was surprised and genuinely grateful for their kindness.

My "group" from high school was there. They cracked me up all night. I'm thankful for their friendship, even after not seeing each other hardly at all for the last 10 yrs.

I'm glad I skipped the $60 girdle, because the people I would've worn it to impress didn't talk to me anyway.

It's the end of the night, my head is resting on my pillow as I finish up this post. I'm glad I went because I won't have to wonder what it would've been like, or be filled with regret for staying home. But honestly, real true honesty here.. It was just okay. Good night world.

Friday, July 4, 2014

Approved Fightin' Words

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this:

Everyone should be quick to listen,

slow to speak and slow to become angry

James 1:19

Mr. Awesome had to endure some of my cranky not-so-awesomeness yesterday. In hindsight I was way to quick to speak, and I really didn't give two craps if I was listening to anything he had to say- because after he ticked me off, I had already made up my mind that it was my way or the highway. I'll spare you the details and just sum up our yesterday afternoon in one word, "unpleasant".

Thankfully once I got some food in me my mood leveled out and I was able to think a little clearer. I felt like real poo for not practicing what I preach! So here are some phrases I SHOULD HAVE used, and I suggest you to use these if you find yourself in a "fight", "bickering", or just having some "intense fellowshipping" as us Lutheran's like to call it. ;) We learned some of these at the amazing Weekend to Remember Conference we attended in Minneapolis a few years ago. If you eeeeevvveerrr get the chance to go to one of their conferences, take it! The weekend away is wonderful, but the content they provide to you is even better!

First thing to remember is this: WE ARE ON THE SAME TEAM. Repeat that in your head or out loud as many times as you need to, so you don't soon forget it. I cannot emphasize this one enough. This doesn't just apply in marriage but in all area's of life. I've used this line with another mom and I think it made us both change our perspectives and get over ourselves for the sake of our children.

I am NOT throwing in the towel on us, how can we compromise on this so neither one of us feels put out?
I am too upset right now, but this is important to me. Can I take some time to cool off and we talk about this tomorrow at 3 o'clock? -set a specific time and stick to it.
Let's take turns sharing our sides.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,

but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:29