Counting Blessings July 31st 2015

I have so many blessings to count tonight.  So many meaningful conversations, glimpses of joy despite my sadness, good food, smiles from 20+ happy story hour kids, S'mores around the fire pit with the FAM + Mr. Awesome's dad.  The best of all?  When my tween says "mom, I love just hangin' out with you".

Sexual Intimacy... On a Shelf In The Church Library.

 I was asked to type up a book review of Pulling Back the Shades for my Church Library.  It's been about 6 months since I've talked about PBTS on my blog, plus I don't even know if my review will be approved for the church newspaper, so I thought I'd share my little review here with all of you. 

 

 

 

Pulling Back the Shades.  This book focuses on a topic we don’t talk about a lot in the church, and that’s sexual intimacy.

Here’s my perspective on this book as a woman in her 20’s.  Late 20’s, yes, but still 20’s.  ;)

When I first heard of this book my initial reaction was ‘it is probably lame, and written like a textbook from the 1960’s’. I mean what can a Christian author say about sex and intimacy?  Does the Bible really even talk about those things, or where are they getting their info?  Can WE as Christians talk about that stuff in a way that is honorable to God?

I included God in every other area of my life, but the thought of God being a part of the intimacy I share with my husband, well, that was a little awkward to me.

The book initially comes across as an anti-Fifty Shades of Grey title.  In some ways it is, in that it explains why we are drawn to that type of material.  Even if you have seen or read 50 Shades, you can still appreciate this book and what it has to offer.

The chapters look a little like this “The Sexually Satisfied Woman”, “Reviving More Than Your Sex Life”, “The Spiritually Satisfied Woman”, and more.

The authors explain the longings of a woman’s heart.  They talk about the different emotional and physical needs between men and women. 

This is a book I am passionate about.  I have put a copy of this book in the hands of a range of women; from a single woman, to a young woman preparing for marriage, all the way to own mother, who has been married for 40 years, and all sorts of other women in between.

I’ve been through this book as a small group once, and I would love to do it again this winter at Immanuel with anyone who is willing to give it a try.  I promise to make the atmosphere a safe place where you can share as much as or as little as you are comfortable with. 

You can find this book in the Church Library, the Forest City Public Library, or online.

 

 

Product Review: Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs

Okay so we got struck by lightening this week which means I can't use my regular computer. 
booo.  That means this review is not as thorough as I'd like it to be and I have way more pictures and a video I'd like to include, but I just can't get t them right now.


On the plus side this also means my house is pretty flippin' spotless right now, since I've found like 3 million extra hours in each day without the computer.  YIKES, huh? My Fitbit says I'm being way more active, so that's awesome. Haha.

 #firstworldproblems, I know.


Ready for it? 



So I wasn't thrilled at trying this product at first, because I thought it was totally unnecessary. I need to simplify, not add more into my routine.

But I was free, so I tried it...  Come on, freeeeeeeee, you would've fell for it too, right?

GIRLS, I'M SO GLAD I DIDN'T CHICKEN OUT on opening the tube!

This stuff is glorious.

& No, I'm not exaggerating.

If it's making my 29 year old legs look 10 years younger,  I can't imagine how great it will be for me another 10 years from now.

Pros:
Smooth out the skin tone in your legs, making them look flawless.
It's not greasy. 
No residue.
No orange undertones, streaks, etc.

They say use it sparingly on the knees, because your knees will suck the lotion right into every little crevice. 

Cons:
As far as how well the product works, there are NO CONS.  Honest,

However, If you've been around here awhile, you know I'm an advocate for natural products... the ingredient list on this tube isn't ideal. BUT please don't let that turn you off.  I plan to use it occasionally, not often- and I'm totally fine with that.

My legs look gooooood with this!  I've already picked out the perfect skirt pair with the Airbrush Legs on my next date with Mr. Awesome.

This product comes in many different shades, and also comes as a spray.  I like the lotion best, because I feel like I have more control over the application that way.



I received my initial tube of Airbrush Legs complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes.  Then I went out and bought a big tube.  They gave me a coupon to use towards the purchase.  You can use it too!

CLICK HERE FOR THE $2 OFF COUPON.

 I'm competing to win a prize with this blog post!  If you're interested in doing what I'm doing here, check out www.influenster.com

#ABLCHALLENGE #INFLUENSTER #SALLYHANSEN

Thanks!

Be Kind

While shopping tonight I met a woman who just lost her mother-in-law and is preparing for the funeral next week.  I didn't ask for her name, but I talked with her, hugged her, and we parted ways. 

That was it.

Hearing her story made me lose it; I mean I held my crap together as long as I could, but bawled the second I got to the parking lot.

My husband first smiled at my silliness, crying for a stranger.  Then he prayed with me.  I love that he does that.

My heart breaks for what this lady is going through.  She was emotional, but also showed so much numbness; You know what I mean? Ugh, I've been there and it's a tough place.

Just another reminder of "BE KIND, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"

Thursday Thoughts

Who ever said raising preteens was tough, obviously never channeled that drive for independence all the way into the kitchen.  I love a girl who looks up recipes, makes them and serves them to the whole family.
Don't worry, it's not all sweets, before this she served us: cucumbers, green and orange peppers, tomatoes, and green beans that she washed, chopped and prepared with the help of her little 7 year old assistant that she trained herself.

I Love a Small Town

I love a small town where I can make 5 stops in less than an hour.  With 3 kids in tow.

A town where I can cash a handful of checks at the bank, even if one of them didn't exactly have my name on it.

A town where I can send 2/3 of my kids into a storefront alone, without any hesitation or worry at all.  They came back to the van full of smiles & said they ran into a couple that we know.

At our very next stop we saw that same couple's daughter.  Also full of smiles, cheerful and helpful.

A town where I can take a picture of the front of a coffee bag in, ask for something similar, and know I'm going to get something so much better instead.  Because people really do care here.

A town where you never have to wait even a full 5 minutes at a stoplight.

A town where you run into friendly faces and stop every 20 steps in a store, to say hi and chat with someone you know.

A town with a bakery clearance rack that almost always has my favorite donut on it, just when I need it the most.

A town so full of beautiful trees, but not so full that you can't look up and see the beauty of the big puffy white clouds.

#iowa

Crapola

I found this post from 2013 that never got published.  Probably because I felt like too much crapola to hit the send button on it.  I reread it today.  It's not great, but maybe someone else is going through the same thing and wouldn't mind knowing they aren't alone.


I've been on a bit of a crap roll.  I've been..


Eating crap- A couple years ago I gave up fast food.  I loved how good I felt about it, both physically and from sitting on my soap box telling others about the dangers of all the crap that is put in the "food". 
Then 1 year ago a little amazing Graycie was born.  She left me sleep deprived, exhausted and always running North or South for doctors appointments.  Naturally, we were always running late for those appointments, and picking up food on the way there, or back.. or on the long days- BOTH there & back!

Reading crap-  I'm a self proclaimed Internet addict.  I enjoy scrolling the Facebook news feed to see what's new.  I also enjoy checking Pinterest to see ways I can update our home, find new recipes to try, or just tips in general.

Talking crap:  I don't know what it is, but I've got a friend or two that can get me to talk crap about anything or anyone, and make it seem like we're being genuine and caring.  Ugh, we aren't.  We suck for that. 



All this crapola I'm putting into my life is just not encouraging. 
If you think about crappy things, you'll feel crappy.  IF you think about HAPPY things, you'll feel HAPPY. 

 

I need more happy in my life.

So I'm starting an anti-crapola kick RIGHT MEOW! 

God Makes The Rain: Toddler Evangelism

 

Last night after my Author and Blogger Meet & Greet, we were visiting the Boy Scout's Snack Shack up at the courthouse square.  This is a part of our town's yearly celebration. 

We've never made it to this event in the past, which totally has to change because their taco burger was amazzzzzing.

 

There had been short spells of rain off and on, but we chanced it and went anyway.  We happened to be standing right by the big white food tent when along came another little down pour.  We all huddled under the tent and within a few minutes it was over. 

 

A woman was standing next to us talking to my 2 year old.  She asked her something like "What do you think of this rain?" Our Free Spirited Girl confident responded with:

"God makes the rain!"

 

Okay we've known this woman for probably 10 years, AND she goes to our church, but I still got embarrassed about my toddler's outburst of praise.

 

I don't know why.  I should've just been proud of her. Mr. Awesome was.  We talked about it later that night after the kids went to bed and I said I don't know why it made me uncomfortable. I mean the lady right away acknowledge "Yes, God does make the rain", and talked to our little Spunky about what the rain is good for.

 

I think I've just had so many confrontations about religion and feel like I always have to defend my self for being a Christian .  So I have started to pull back some of that evangelism.

 

The day before this happened, we sent a letter off to a neighbor boy who joined the army.  I wanted to include some encouraging verses in the letter about how God goes before us, about being courageous, about being strong. But my pen froze.  Darn it.  I was writing on a postcard and was nervous about who would see it, and what they would think. 

 

Just this morning I was teaching story hour at the church and I asked the kids if anyone wanted to lead us in prayer, thanking God for this day and our time together.  I expected nothing from them and planned to lead the prayer myself.  Instead I got a sweet blond haired girl who spoke assertively, "I would like to pray, please".  She bowed her head and prayed loud, and with such unshakeable confidence.  I don't often even hear adults pray with that sort of strength in their voice.

 

 

I've frequently quoted, or maybe misquoted, the phrase:

 "without my struggle I wouldn't find my strength"

 

This is another one of those times I can step back, examine myself and my struggle,  and learn from my children yet again. 

We have the right to free speech, and the power to spread the Good News.  We are sharing goodness and truth, there is no need to be apprehensive about that, right?

 

Amazon Prime Day! July 15th, 2015

Tomorrow, Wednesday July 15th, 2015 is Amazon Prime Day!

They're sayin' there will be more deals than BLACK FRIDAY!  As much as I love simplicity, clutter-free, yada-yada-yada- I cannot and will not pass up a good deal, because I ♥ saving money, even when it means I need to spend a little first.  It's cheaper in the long run to buy things on sale and save them for Christmas/birthdays/anniversary/back-to-school.

So I'll be sharing my favorite deals over on my Facebook Page --> www.facebook.com/ASlightlyBetterWife  Be sure you're logged on and following so you don't miss out!

If you haven't joined Amazon Prime yet, this is the PERFECT time to start your FREE trial.  You can cancel it later, no questions asked, if you don't love it. 

Before and After: Kitchen Pantry

It's too humid to play outside, so I'm playing in the kitchen today. First up: Organizing the pantry. I really <3 organizing, or at least that's what I'm telling myself today. 

My oldest daughter is helping me, and suddenly I know what my mom feels like when I help her clean... "Mom, we don't need this, just throw it."

As were finishing up I can look back at the before pictures and see our efforts were worth it.

What Happened When I Boxed Up The Toys

Yesterday we boxed up a bunch of the toys.

It was time.

You can only trip over the same toys so many times before you decide they aren't really being played with, and they don't go with your decor.

The kids were worried they'd have nothing to play with or they'd get bored easily.

Saying " I'm Bored" in this house= Go read a book or ask for a chore.

I'll admit, I was a little worried too.   What I witnessed this morning though confirmed that they would be just fine:

They've been creatively playing in and with the clean laundry pile for over a half hour now.

People, my kids don't even play with their regular toys for that long (with the exception of Legos).

They are giggling, making eye contact and talking to each other, sharing and just interacting in the best way I've seen in a long while.

This is a very good thing. 

#creativekids #kidsplayinglikekids

The 3 Random Reasons Why We Love Church (And You Should, Too!)

We all have our reasons why we attend church, or don't attend.  Sometimes I struggle hard with not wanting to attend and be fully present there, other times I don't struggle at all, I just get in the van and go.  This is just a random post, folks.  I do have some deep feelings about church, religion and God in general.  And I'd love to have a real life conversation about those things with you, if you ever want to.

  Just please don't get your undies in a bunch over this one, it's just for fun, K? 

 

 

1.  It’s a place to learn Life Focus.  You may think this is weird, but I’m just going to say it anyway:  It’s not a place to bring forth all that you already know and try to impress others with your knowledge of the Bible.  That’s what I THOUGHT church was about, before we started regularly attending.  Unfortunately other Christian friends made me think there was an underlying contest about Bible facts, fashion, and how well you can discipline your children in the pews without making a scene. 

For me, church is much like College was.  It’s a place to learn, take notes, and try to better myself through what I’m being taught.  If we learn more about Jesus, we can learn to BE more like Jesus.  The more we ARE like Jesus, the more focused and better our lives are. 

 

2.  You meet people.  As a Stay-at-Home-Mom who was new to town, I didn’t know anyone.  I mean really, I knew like maybe a handful of adults, but didn’t know them well.  Church was the place for me to get to know people I wouldn’t have met otherwise. 

You might wonder why meeting new people is important.  I’m learning that for me, my quality of life is greatly increased through the connections that I make.  You never know when you’ll be able to help someone out, or when you’ll need their help.  The more connections you have, the bigger your help circle becomes. 

 

3.  It’s FUN.  Yes, it really is.  We have a weekly meal, game nights, potlucks, STOP HUNGER food packing day, and other special events that all really increase the fun factor at church.  The things that I think are really fun though are the little things; the conversations in the halls, the laughs over coffee hour (coffee hour includes cookies… SCORE!), and watching the kids sing.

 

Life Focus- Community- Fun

5 Quick Tips to Simplify Your Road Trips With Kids

1.  Always keep a bag in the van (because moms don't drive cars) with a spare set of clothes for each kid.  It doesn't need to be stylish, a cheap Garanimals t-shirt and shorts will do.  *If you have a kid in diapers, keep about five of those in the van also, along with a pkg of wipes.  This is totally separate from a diaper bag.
Trust me, when you take your diaper bag in the house, then leave somewhere on a whim, you will be glad you had those back up diapers.  And 5 is a totally reasonable number, because you will forget to refill this stash.

2.  Bring a box of crackers.  Don't fuss around with perfectly cut veggies, bags of grapes, and string cheeses that have to stay on ice.  It's one trip, no one is judging you for feeding those kids packaged grains.  AND well if they are judging you, offer them some of those crackers... They are probably just hungry.  Another thing, don't beat yourself up about swinging through the drive-thru.  It's okay!  Drive-thrus are blessings for busy parents and hungry kids everywhere.

3.  Keep a stack of napkins in the glove box at all times.  *Refill this stash on the previously mentioned fast food runs.

4. The very best hands on car activity is a notebook and a few colored pens.  Skip the crayons, they will melt all over in the hot Sun, and snap in the bitter cold. I promise. I say skip the markers also, if your kids are little like some of mine, and into tattooing themselves.  Um yeah, it's embarrassing to put a beautiful little 2 year old curly haired girl in the backseat and pull out a 2 year old curly haired girl who looks like she just came back from a biker/tattoo convention.

5.  Lastly do not over pack the car. The next Walmart or Dollar General is just 30 minutes away from wherever you are. This is America and as sad as it is to even have this way of thinking, it's true.  You can buy what you NEED on the way, if you have forgotten it. The wide open space in the car is totally not something to take for granted.  I get cranky when the car is packed with too much fluff.

Bonus tip:  People often forget this one, but if you're stopping to get gas or to eat, throw away all the garbage in your vehicle.  Clean spaces = Happy moms. 

Coffee Lovin' Kids

They found me with my iced coffee and wanted me to share. 

Haha haha

I said "Sorry kids, not happening, but I'll make you your own".  See, I'm not a total meanie.

I went heavy on the water for theirs.

AND I'm sure you are wondering about the safety glasses.

Well he wears these often, and I'm totally okay with that.  It's unique, maybe even weird, but I'm always so thankful he makes safety gear a priority.  You know, because actual safety isn't on his 7 year old radar yet.

My 29th Birthday: Part 3, Pizzazz

 

 That 10^th Birthday was the best of my childhood.  My birthdays didn’t improve much over the next 19 years.   For the most part, I was always alone, always craving family.

I don’t know if the lack of my own birthday party pizzazz is what has been my driving force, but I love other people’s birthdays.  I would throw a birthday party for a stranger.  I’m not exaggerating, I really would.

I have thrown my husband and children some pretty fun birthday parties. 

Yet when July rolls around, I start feeling depressed.  I feel guilty taking people away from their families, and I feel guilty that spending the time with my little family hasn’t been enough to satisfy me. 

This year I’ve done a lot of personal healing through a Bible Study, and spending more time than ever with God. 

Last week, just after midnight on Wednesday, I was lying in bed with my husband when we decided we’d try to throw a birthday party for me the next day.  I lined it all up through a Facebook event and didn’t call or talk to anyone about it in person unless they brought it up first.  I vowed to not burden my friends with my birthday, and to be grateful no matter what. 

The results? A simple backyard birthday party with a small group of people that I love.  We roasted hotdogs and marshmallows.  We talked, laughed, sang and ate cake.  The kids did sparklers as it got dark, and I went to bed with a smile on my face.  It was wonderful.  My favorite birthday of my adulthood. 

 

 

Oh and you know what?  My dad even showed up.  It brought tears to my eyes, and reminded me that time together is the most important. 

This year my birthday was less about the details of the party, and more about my heart.  God has been transforming my heart into a more grateful one.  One that slows, and observes.  One that praises and thanks.  One that desires more of HIM and less of everyone and everything else. 

My 29th Birthday: Part 2, Carnies, The Roar of a Motorcycle, Fried Chicken, and a Jewelry Box

It was 4^th of July weekend and I was home alone.  We lived a block from the carnival, which brought in allllll sorts of people.  The “carnies” parked their campers at the end of the opposite block.  I was given strict warnings about keeping the doors to the house locked.  Hundreds of people walked past our house that day.

Every sound I heard made me jump, or peek out the curtain with wide-eyes.  I spent much of that hot July day under a blanket, because I assumed if I couldn’t see the bad guys, they couldn’t see me. 

I was sitting on the couch when I heard the roar of a motorcycle pull up into the front yard.

While that sound may scare others, it brought me comfort.  When I heard the loud pipes made even louder by being positioned directly outside the window, I knew MY DAD WAS HOME! 

This was only Friday though; I wasn’t expecting him to be back until Sunday.  And my mom wasn’t with him, so I assumed something was wrong. 

My heart raced.

I ran to the door. 

I squeezed him just as tight as I could.

He told me to put long pants on, we were going out for a ride.

He took me to the Barrel Drive In and gave me two gifts, which I am still using today.

The first gift was a little wooden jewelry box.

 

If you’ve spent any time here at all you know that I am NOT a sentimental person.  So the fact that I’m still using this is mostly just because it’s still very functional.  A little banged up, yes, but very functional.  Okay, and maybe it holds a small special place in my heart because the bottom is signed by “Dad”.

The second gift, was the best of all. 

It was the gift of just being there.

Just being with my dad.

Quality time together isn’t my love language, but it is my husband’s. 

I remember how good it felt that day to have my dad with me.  When my husband starts mentioning that we haven’t had a lot of time together, I used to start planning extravagant dates and lining up sitters. 

Sometime though my mind shifted and I remembered that quality time can be something as simple as eating fried chicken together, going for a walk, or just having an uninterrupted conversation. 

 

Thank you, Dad, for all that you’ve not only given me, but also taught me. 

Love,

Your Little Girl

My 29th Birthday: Part 1, RSVPs, Phonebook, Cigarettes, Disappointment, and a Surprise

 

 

29. I turned 29 yesterday.

 

When I was in 5^th grade I invited every girl in my grade to my birthday party.  I hand wrote invitations and my mom drove me all around town to stick the cards in each girl’s mailbox.  Back then RSVP’ing was practically legally binding, and everyone did it.  Guess how many RSVPs I got back???  0.   ZERO.  Nada.  NONE.

Still, I held out hope that some of the girls would come. 

My mom said if I had gotten back any RSVPs she’d stay and help me throw a party.  But since no one was coming, she was headed off to a motorcycle rally with my dad.  This was their yearly get-away for just the two of them, they’d been attending this for years. 

Sometimes it fell directly on my birthday, sometimes my birthday was their recovery day.

Either way, I felt screwed.

Just to be sure I covered all my bases- I got out the big heavy black and yellow phone book, looked up the phone numbers of each girl, and called them myself.

Dial tone… The beep of each number being pressed.. The ringing… Oh the anxiety.. Then the “Hello?”

I got the same answer each time.  They were sorry, but they couldn’t attend.  Some even felt like they needed to let me know it was 4^th of July weekend, so they would be spending it with their family.

Bastards. 

I wanted to spend the day with my family.  Or their family, I didn’t really care.  I just hated being alone.

When party day came my parents were out of town. I have no idea where my older brothers were, but they weren’t home.  I’m guessing with friends.

 I cleaned up the house, tried to gather snacks from the cupboards, and penned birthday signs out of notebook paper and taped them to the door.  I did all I could to make it seem like a real PARTY.

Two girls showed up, hours after the official party time had ended, and not even because they knew it was my birthday.  They were at my house for a total of about 15 minutes.   The first girl was a classmate who came because she was out wandering the town on her own (uninvolved parents?), and the second was the little neighbor girl who just came over to play.  The first girl tried teaching us how to roll our own cigarettes, which was pencil shavings and that same notebook paper that I had made into my birthday sign.

I still get flashbacks to that day when I use our electric pencil sharpener.

Although the skill seemed interesting, I knew it was wrong, wrong, wrong.  I knew my parents would beat my butt (really, and it was legal back then) if they found out, so I kicked her out.  She said I was stuck up, and she never liked me after that. 

You know what though?  Now at 29, looking back, she never liked me before that, so I suppose it’s no biggie.  Ugh, why did I waste tears on that?

I’m pretty sure she’s still rolling her own cigs today, although from what I know (thanks Facebook) she’s upgraded from pencil shavings to the hard stuff.  Poor girl.  I really do wish I could’ve helped her.

The point is, even though that “party” sucked, I tried my best using what my 10 year old self had available.  That’s important in all areas of life.  Parties are not excluded.  They don’t need to be big and fancy; they just need to be real.

 

I did get one surprise that birthday...  I actually still have it.  Stay tuned, I’ll take a picture and share it with you in my next blog post.

Happy 40th Wedding Anniversary to MY Parents

From my Facebook:

"Sorry for the mushy-gushy post, but this is a SHOUT OUT to my parents. On June 14th they celebrated 40 years of marriage. 40 YEARS!! Who even does that anymore? ;)
I feel like it's quite the accomplishment! My parents' marriage relationship has taught me a lot of things, but the greatest is how to love, and keep on loving, despite the toughest trials or even the highest highs. They're devoted to each other through it all. I'm so glad I get to be their kid! ♥♥♥"

Thanks Mom

Warning, Real Life Post:
I just hit an awful reality. After walking past this humongous nasty dust bunny a couple times (after I already cleaned the floors), I realized no one else is going to pick it up.

I'm the mom now. 

Ugh, so not fun.  This may be a little late, but THANKS MOM, for always picking up the dust bunnies.  And for everything else.  I know now that you did far more than I've thanked you for, and surely more than I've even realized yet.
#keepingitreal #loveyoumom