Confessions from a b*** dial

A few years ago I was in the kitchen, listening to the baby crying and throwing things, feeling frazzled, & trying my best to cook supper for my little family.  It was probably hamburger helper.. that was tough stuff back then!

The baby at the time was my little boy, he had just become a toddler and was into e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  My daughter was supposed to be doing homework, but she sat at the table with tears in her eyes because she couldn't read the directions and didn't know what to do. 

I'm shouting out random things like "Put that back.. no-no... don't touch.. sweetie, sound it out.. & honey, could you please help? (alright it was more like "damn it, can't you help me with these kids?? I'm just trying to cook a decent meal!!!)".  So all hell is breaking loose, as it often did back then. 

The phone rings.

I read the caller ID... Crap, it's another mom that I really look up to... She is so full of kindness and I could really use some of her positivity right now..
 So I scream at the top of my lungs... "Everyone quiet!"

And in the most sweetest voice ever, with a smile on my face, I say:

 "Hello?"

I wait a moment, and say it again.. "Hellooooo?" 

I heard her voice.  "Hey, how was practice?"  & one of her children says "fine".  "Fine? What did you guys do?".  I realized I was the victim of a butt dial.. Or pocket dial, as them proper folks like to call it. ;)
I'm so embarrassed to admit it... I listened to almost their whole conversation... The way she drilled him for a few more answers, without really drilling him.. the kindness in her voice.  I loved it all.
When I could tell they were nearing the end of the ride home, I quick hung up the phone. 
I know this seems silly, but that phone call changed me.  I consider patience one of my best skills.  I consider myself a caring mother and I really do take time to do things with my kids that other parents don't enjoy.  But I was in one of those phases where everything was hard, and I was really down in the dumps about it.

Fast forward to later that year, we found out my oldest daughter was dyslexic.  Once we knew that and how to work with it, homework went much better.  She now actually enjoys school work and reading.  This girl asks for books for birthday presents!  That floors me!  At the time, homework was such a struggle, and I really believed in my heart that she just may never recover.

That whiny toddler that could tear a room apart in under a minute, is now my 6 year old little man.  He doesn't cry nearly as often as he once did!  And he is one of the neatest people in our family.  He prides himself on a clean room.. Who would have ever thought?

Parents of little ones:
The point here is, seek out positivity. No matter what it is that you are going through right now, it will get better.  That's a promise.  Pray through it.  I know that raising these little people is hard work!  But hey, you can do this!  You were made for this.  In those early years and on those tough days, remember that nap time or bed time is only just a few hours away.  You can make it! 
Don't be so hard on yourself.
No matter how many times you get the advice to 'sleep when they sleep', I know you won't always do it.  I didn't either, there is too much to get done, right?  Well how about instead of sleeping when they sleep, you at least take a moment to breathe... just breathe. If there is one regret that I have from my mothering experience so far, it would be that I didn't take more time to breathe.  To just relax, to slow down. 

Seek out positivity.

It will get better.

Pray through it.

YOU were made for this!

Breathe.

 

 

 

Coming soon: Calendar Clutter

A beautiful moment

I'm so thankful for God's grace.   Today was a complete opposite of yesterday.   I realized it this afternoon.  
I was in the kitchen, wearing an apron {like all good housewives do} with my hands covered in flour as I rolled out gingerbread cookies. In the other room I hear the baby playing happily in her playpen.  I know the little boy is laying on the floor coloring. He's at the feet of his big sister, who is laying across the couch reading her Junie B. Jones book out loud for her younger siblings to hear.
Life is precious. Moments like these are the things I live for.  Praise you God for this moment of happiness.

Life of a {homeschool} Teacher

We started our day with geography. All of the kids really love that subject.  Things were going splendid!  I could see the little light bulbs turning on in their heads and knew that they were learning.
My husband called at lunch break and I bragged to him about how wonderful class was going.... That was my first mistake.
JINX'd it!
From that point on two of the students in my class kept arguing with each other. I scolded them, and then they got along so well that they were laughing and making so much noise it drove me crazy!
Ps. They're siblings.

I feel so bad for another little girl in my class. Everytime I turn around she's in the recycling bucket pulling out everything she can & eating it. I suppose that's normal, she's only 1.
Ah, the life of a teacher. . Homeschool teacher, that is.

Daily perspective through handwriting

Just a quick daily dose of perspective from this homeschooling momma.

This is what my kindergartner did with his handwriting today.

My first thought: Why can't he follow the rules! Surely a public school teacher would have had him redo his work & he would have forever been tagged as the weird Bible loving boy who didn't follow directions.

Second thought: My boy is Christian!  A rule-breaking-overachieving-Christian!!

Many great things have been done by people who were (according to the majority) breaking rules. 

...there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something.Thomas A. Edison

Live one day at a time emphasizing ethics rather than rules.Wayne Dyer

The Pain Inside

10 days ago I was helping my husband and my brother get a massive lawn mower loaded on to a trailer.  When I say massive, I mean massive.  It was heavy and we were pushing with all our might (at least I was!).  Some how, in the shuffle of getting it up there it got turned funny (this was probably my fault) and we had to back it down a ways to straighten it out.  The weight of the mower on the lift gate and the trailer not being secured on the ball, caused the whole thing to pop up.  The mower, along with the lift gate landed right across my feet. 

OUCH! 

I'm pretty sure I yelled more than just ouch... It was dreadfully painful.  Now, I'll admit have an abnormally low pain tolerance, *especially* for someone who has given birth twice. Seriously though, this legitimately hurt like heck.

I instantly had thoughts of broken feet, never walking again, etc., etc.

The amazing thing is that I prayed for healing, and within an hour I was up and walking. 

The kicker is that for the last 10 days the feeling in my feet has been so "off".  When I bend my feet I feel the pins and needles feeling.  When they're in anterior position I feel nothing, in a very weird way.  When I'm walking, each step is painful, but not excruciating, just uncomfortably painful.

I chose to keep walking.  I chose to keep pushing on through the pain.

 

Many times I think about my feet, and how from the outside they look perfectly fine. It shocks me.

I have a friend who asked for prayers because even though she is happy, bubbly and one of the most cheerful people I know, she's hurting on the inside.  I was humbled to hear her ask for prayers.  I was proud of her.  Yet I couldn't help but think "wow".  It surprised me, because she hides it so well. 

I think a lot of people hide a lot of things.  And you know, that's okay.  We don't need a world full of Debbie-downers.  But hey guys, we also don't need to battle this world alone.   YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  When it gets too much to handle and you need prayers or help, just ask.

 

I am thankful for this incident, because it has been a constant reminder to me that we don't know what someone else is battling.  Just because they're well put together on the outside doesn't mean there isn't some sort of pain on the inside. 

 

I have a different pain inside than just what happened to my feet.  And the pain inside changes as I have different worries about my children, my marriage, my home, our government, and life in general.  I'm not a constant worrier, but when I use to worry often, it wasn't pretty!  I am thankful that I have a God to pray to.  I am thankful for true friends that I can be open and honest with.  I'm thankful that I don't have to do this all on my own. 

 

Today my pain is in the form of a useless worry.  It's useless to worry about, because there is nothing I can do to change it.  Tomorrow we take our almost 1 year old baby girl for another check-up with her cardiologist.  Baby and cardiologist should NOT even be in the same sentence as far as I'm concerned.  This check up is what they call "the big one".  Yes, that's really what they call it.  They predict that at this appointment they will be able to tell if  heart surgery in her near future, or if we can space out her check ups more and she can go on living "normally" without medical intervention.

 

I know that this is all in God's hands.  And I know that God doesn't waste our pain.  Just like the trailer incident, my pain wasn't wasted, it taught me a very hands on valuable lesson.

 

Ps.  I am pretty sure that the trailer landing on my feet also served as a punishment for my selfish thoughts..  more on that later... maybe... or maybe not... ;)