My Spicy Reality Check

If you follow my Instagram, or know me in real life, you know I’ve been reading Jen Hatmaker’s new book, For the Love.   You know this because I’m obsessed and bring it up way too often.

I’m sorry, okay?

It’s just this is what my soul needs right now, and I’m excited about that.

One chapter I’m really relating with this week is the one that talks about SWEET and SPICY families (starts on page 57).

As much as I want everyone to THINK we’re a sweet family, we are pre-tty darn spic-aaaay.

We’re loud and other people don’t always get our off-the-wall humor.

We’ve been booked solid for a month.  In this past week just about every single hour has had something scheduled into it, and we’re not even getting our normal dinner time together.

Last night my husband worked late as usual, we rushed to get the kids somewhere they had to be, and once that was over I sighed and smiled as I thought about how we were actually getting to have a night out to eat dinner as a family.  We went to Perkins for the Give Kids The World Pancake Day.  The kids had been looking forward to this for WEEKS (and you know when a kid is excited about something because it actually feels like they’ve been asking about it for months) and couldn’t wait to eat a free short stack and make a donation to the charity. 

Then I got a text asking if I was coming to a meeting…………

I thought to myself “What meeting?!”  I checked my calendar quick and found nothing. 

For the record- I really appreciated that text.  It’s exactly what I needed right then to wake up to what was happening.

I am a ‘schedule it down to the minute, list maker, don’t lose track of nothing’ type of person.  I can organize anything for anyone and I’ll do it for free, because that’s how I have my fun. 

But when I screw up and don’t put something on my calendar, it’s not fun at all.  It’s pretty ugly actually.

I cried and prayed out loud “Oh Lord, forgive me right here and now for being so busy, so scatter-brained, so negative”. 

But that didn’t release the tension.

I was angry that I was 30 minutes from home and couldn’t make it to the meeting.  I was angry that I didn’t have it in my calendar.  I was angry because I was angry when I should’ve been fine.  Everyone else was so excited to be together, and I just couldn’t find the JOY.

I wanted to just leave them there and rush to my meeting.

But I physically couldn’t.  And I mentally knew I shouldn’t.  I knew in that moment that I had been making everyone and everything else a priority, and not my family. 

So I wiped my tears, unloaded the kids from the van, and as we all walked into the restaurant I said, “This is bad, guys.  This is a big deal that I’m missing this meeting.  And not just because of the meeting, but because I’ve been forgetting things lately and letting people down because I’m too busy.  Mom is in a crappy mood, but we are NOT going to let that mess with this dinner!  Got it?” 

I was counting on them to cheer things up.  They agreed.  And they provided {keep reading}.

I took a few deep breathes when we sat down. 

Then my phone rang while.I.was.ordering. 

Well played, Satan. But you DO NOT mess with a hungry mom.  Jesus, help me get through this in a happy way.

 Another call, about another different meeting.  I silenced my ringer and went outside to talk, because it really was important and couldn’t wait.

When I got back my family smiled at me SO BIG from across the room.  I walked up to the table feeling like a celebrity the way they were looking at me.  Even people from other tables looked up and smiled at me.  Life was good, in that second.  I saw so much joy.

Then my son crawled under the table, sat next to me and whispered in my ear what his toddler sister had just said about the waitress while I was away “She has to go potty because she’s holding her penis”.  He chuckled, and then went back under the table and to his spot.  I imagine she was just resting her hands in her apron, or grabbing for a straw, but a 2 year old wouldn’t understand that. 

I looked at my husband.  He was holding back a smile and his eyes confirmed that really did just happen. 

I laughed… almost cried...

How inappropriate! But we ARE a spicy family I thought to myself.  So I embraced the weirdness, and we moved on. 

 

You see about a month or two ago I got a couple discouraging, judgmental, and unwelcomed comments about our homeschooling, and the way I was running my home/parenting.  These were outsider comments from someone we’re not even close with.  But it made me feel like we weren’t a “sweet” enough family and that I wasn’t good enough.  We don’t have our kids enrolled in a ton of activities, or let them spend hours on end in front of their devices.  I’m okay with that, until someone comments and makes me feel like I should be doing something differently.

If I had been thinking about Jen’s book, I would’ve just disregarded the comments and been like “whatev’ girl. We are a spicy family, but I assure you we love each other and we LOVE Jesus and THIS is just how we roll”.

You aren’t wrong.  We aren’t wrong.  We’re just different, and thank you Jesus for that!  Because I don’t think you could handle my obsessive labeling, and I couldn’t handle the bleachers you take on every week. 

I had been so tense that I had just about hit my breaking point.  You know, where you finally decide it’s not worth being down.  You SNAP; then start climbing your way back up?

That happened in the next sentence.  “Mom!! The syrup is free here, so I can use a BUTTLOAD, right?”

Oh Lordy. 

That buttload comment, combined with the 2 year old’s comment, and someone drawing a canon shooting off fireworks that looked sort of inappropriate on a kids menu….

Well, folks, NOW we were/are officially on the upward swing. 

 

I smacked the table and yelled “BAM!  I BEAT ALL Y’ALL!” when I finished my food before my husband.  My pre-teen daughter was mortified. Not really, she laughed her butt off, but doesn't she look freaked out here?  Perfection.

Yep, we’re spicy.

I unsubscribed from about 15 email subscriptions today.  I left a few Facebook groups that I’ve been really involved in, and started praying for mental clarity again.

If you’re interested in Jen’s book, which talks about “Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards” I’ll be hosting a giveaway for one very soon, because all of us women need to read it.  And some of us spicy gals need to read it a few {dozen} times. 

 

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms.