My family
and I drove home from church today in our 2013 Chrysler Town and Country. We bought it new, had it custom-fit for our
family, and delivered to the same dealership where we had bought our last
minivan, just a couple years before that.
When we got
home the kids got their top of the line Razor scooters out and rode around our driveway
in front of our 3 stall garage.
I was a
little worried about our youngest getting stains or scuffs on her new jeans, since
I just took the tags off of them this morning.
They’re kind of tight, but I don’t want to mess with returning them, so I
think she’ll wear them for a few weeks and we’ll pass them on to someone
else. We aren’t hard pressed for
clothing right now.
My husband took
off his pressed button up collared shirt and changed into an American Eagle
sweatshirt and stood on the plush carpeted floor for our living room with his
nearly new Nike tennis shoes.
From there
he turned on our 50 inch LED TV, that we also bought brand new, and sat down to
watch some football.
I came out
to start typing some thoughts that were on my mind after the sermon this
morning, and our oldest daughter is now happily doing a craft at the kitchen
counter.
Soon I’m
going to join her and we are going to decorate our pumpkins we picked up on a
fun family outing to a pumpkin patch yesterday.
Our middle
son has a friend over and they’re playing with Legos. I cringe at the thought of how many hundreds
of dollars worth of Legos we have floating around this 10 year old house. What a difference it would make if even HALF that
money was put towards feeding the hungry.
My point
here is this: Gosh our life is good and really
quite cushy. And we’re considered middle
class! There are people that have it
even “better” than we do!
Now I
promise you it hasn’t always been this good; we have had struggles in our
marriage, in a custody battle, in finances, in losing a parent, etc.
But those
struggles I’m telling you about, even though they were tough to endure, and
seemed nearly impossible at the time, they were such minuet things. In the grand scheme of life and hardships, we’ve
not been dealt a tough hand.
“First Word Problems” is how I’d hashtag all that stuff.
Because yes, even things like coming up with a hashtag are on
my list of current “struggles”
I am heartsick
for orphans. I have had sympathizing
tears streaming down my face all morning wondering how on earth I can help
these children in need. I’ve prayed for
these children for years, but now I want to use my own two hands to care for
them.
I can prove
that I can fiercely love a child I didn’t birth, because I’ve been doing it since
our oldest was just a year old (through step-parent adoption, and Christ’s
Love, she’s mine). I even fiercely love
her birth momma and pray for her on the regular, but that situation is tougher
than I can articulate through a blog post (maybe someday).
Never mind
the fact that I know in my heart I fiercely love all children I meet, even the
random children that play with my kids at the park for an afternoon, or the
neighbor kids who stay for supper, or the kiddos who play video games in our
basement.
Lord, I KNOW
my heart is aching to adopt a child, maybe even several children, and to serve
the poor, care for the weak and needy.
But
HOW?! How God, do I do that without
giving up too much of my cushy life? How
do I get my family on board? Where is
the community of people you talk about in the Bible? Because I’m going to need their support to do
this.
Why aren’t we ALL adopting? How do my husband and I agree to take on the
tough stuff like this, when I feel like we’ve already endured so much of the tough
stuff and now it’s “our turn” to just enjoy the good life?
Or maybe it’s
time I do give up some of this cushy life.
Maybe it’s time I quit pinning all the things I want in a new home on my
Pinterest board and shift my focus to your sweet orphans.
But Lord,
can you send me some pins that teach me how to do that? Can you e-mail me a link to a blog post that
describes my heart, and shows me a step-by-step outline of what comes
next? Because God, if you don’t send it
through my e-mail, there is a strong chance I may totally miss it. You see I’m fired up right now, but I know my
wandering heart, it’s going to be checking Facebook and trying a new cookie
recipe from the internet in less than a couple hours from now. I’m going to get a Gap or Children’s Place
e-mail with a coupon code and fully take advantage of that- But what I WANT to do, is live for you. I want to care for your children, but my
e-mail hasn’t shown up yet telling me how to do this.
On a day by
day basis I am so focused on materialistic and earthly things. I’m so sick of it. I’m ready to live a deeper life that is
beyond ME and all about YOU.
Show me how.
