Do you remember what it was like when you and your husband first moved in together? I do- I remember I was usually yelling and upset about something. I was an awful cook (& back then all I made was Hamburger Helper or Hardee’s- I hadn’t even heard of grinding your own wheat or fermenting foods). I had it in my head that I should get whatever I want, because I was the woman of the house and I deserved it… Just because I was the woman & the women typically do SO much.
Well, during that first year there is one repeated argument that plays in my head from time to time. It’s the argument I had with my husband. I say I had it with him because he wasn’t upset at all, and handled it in a very grown up manner… you know, like grown-ups are supposed to do.
Let me give you a little background. My husband does so much for our family and for me especially. One of the things he does that I honor and respect the most is keeping a positive spirit and a good attitude. He forgives easily and is the definition of laid back, without being lazy. Maybe you don't associate those two together, but I sometimes do- so I wanted to clarify, because he is sure a hardworking man.
So within that first year I remember walking into our bedroom for whatever reason & getting about 3 steps in before I’d realize that there was an unpleasant smell in the air.
I tracked the scent down to a pile of dirty clothes on Mr. Perfect’s side of the bed. Um… who does this guy think he is? Leaving his clothes in a pile on the floor when the hamper was just in the next room!!
The hamper was in the next room because I didn’t want to see or smell the dirty clothes. Sort of inconvenient, yes, but if you were a good enough shot you could stand in just the right spot & get your clothes in the hamper on the first or second try.
When I first became perturbed by this my husband was at work. I mentioned something at supper that night about his dirty clothes reeking up the whole house & how disgusting it was to leave a pile of clothes on the floor (did I ever mention I’m a recovering drama queen?). He sort of brushed it off... I persisted that dirty clothes go IN the hamper in the bathroom, not on the floor in the bedroom.
He didn't totally blow me off, but didn't seem overly concerned either. I reminded him a few more times over the course of that first year. Sometimes I said it innocently, sometimes pretty nasty. Each time he responded kindly and would remember to put his clothes in the correct place for a few days, and then he'd forget again.
Alright, fast forward. We’ve been living together for just over 6 years now. I’m learning my role as a wife and complaining MUCH less. I walked into the bedroom today, there was that smell. I swooped up his clothes and threw them into the hamper. While I was at it I grabbed the kids clothes, bathroom towels and took the duds out to the laundry room for washing.
I didn’t let a negative thought cross my mind or even think of reminding him that he kinda sucks at cleaning up his clothes (because really, he does remember MOST of the time & frankly I suck at quite a few things). I didn’t get negative about it because I decided to be positive instead. I thanked God that I had a husband who comes home each night, who only leaves his dirty clothes beside OUR bed, and is a positive, wonderful, gentle man who loves me.
What does your husband do that you could appreciate rather than reprimand?
