My 29th Birthday: Part 3, Pizzazz

 

 That 10^th Birthday was the best of my childhood.  My birthdays didn’t improve much over the next 19 years.   For the most part, I was always alone, always craving family.

I don’t know if the lack of my own birthday party pizzazz is what has been my driving force, but I love other people’s birthdays.  I would throw a birthday party for a stranger.  I’m not exaggerating, I really would.

I have thrown my husband and children some pretty fun birthday parties. 

Yet when July rolls around, I start feeling depressed.  I feel guilty taking people away from their families, and I feel guilty that spending the time with my little family hasn’t been enough to satisfy me. 

This year I’ve done a lot of personal healing through a Bible Study, and spending more time than ever with God. 

Last week, just after midnight on Wednesday, I was lying in bed with my husband when we decided we’d try to throw a birthday party for me the next day.  I lined it all up through a Facebook event and didn’t call or talk to anyone about it in person unless they brought it up first.  I vowed to not burden my friends with my birthday, and to be grateful no matter what. 

The results? A simple backyard birthday party with a small group of people that I love.  We roasted hotdogs and marshmallows.  We talked, laughed, sang and ate cake.  The kids did sparklers as it got dark, and I went to bed with a smile on my face.  It was wonderful.  My favorite birthday of my adulthood. 

 

 

Oh and you know what?  My dad even showed up.  It brought tears to my eyes, and reminded me that time together is the most important. 

This year my birthday was less about the details of the party, and more about my heart.  God has been transforming my heart into a more grateful one.  One that slows, and observes.  One that praises and thanks.  One that desires more of HIM and less of everyone and everything else.