My Heart Today: The Orphans



Photo Courtesy of my friend Courtney, of Courtney Lorenz Photography.  Check out her work, she's amazing.

 

My family and I drove home from church today in our 2013 Chrysler Town and Country.  We bought it new, had it custom-fit for our family, and delivered to the same dealership where we had bought our last minivan, just a couple years before that.

When we got home the kids got their top of the line Razor scooters out and rode around our driveway in front of our 3 stall garage.

I was a little worried about our youngest getting stains or scuffs on her new jeans, since I just took the tags off of them this morning.  They’re kind of tight, but I don’t want to mess with returning them, so I think she’ll wear them for a few weeks and we’ll pass them on to someone else.  We aren’t hard pressed for clothing right now.

My husband took off his pressed button up collared shirt and changed into an American Eagle sweatshirt and stood on the plush carpeted floor for our living room with his nearly new Nike tennis shoes.

From there he turned on our 50 inch LED TV, that we also bought brand new, and sat down to watch some football.

I came out to start typing some thoughts that were on my mind after the sermon this morning, and our oldest daughter is now happily doing a craft at the kitchen counter.

Soon I’m going to join her and we are going to decorate our pumpkins we picked up on a fun family outing to a pumpkin patch yesterday.

Our middle son has a friend over and they’re playing with Legos.  I cringe at the thought of how many hundreds of dollars worth of Legos we have floating around this 10 year old house.  What a difference it would make if even HALF that money was put towards feeding the hungry.

My point here is this:  Gosh our life is good and really quite cushy.  And we’re considered middle class!  There are people that have it even “better” than we do!

Now I promise you it hasn’t always been this good; we have had struggles in our marriage, in a custody battle, in finances, in losing a parent, etc. 

But those struggles I’m telling you about, even though they were tough to endure, and seemed nearly impossible at the time, they were such minuet things.  In the grand scheme of life and hardships, we’ve not been dealt a tough hand.

“First Word Problems” is how I’d hashtag all that stuff. 

Because yes, even things like coming up with a hashtag are on my list of current “struggles”

I am heartsick for orphans.  I have had sympathizing tears streaming down my face all morning wondering how on earth I can help these children in need.  I’ve prayed for these children for years, but now I want to use my own two hands to care for them.

I can prove that I can fiercely love a child I didn’t birth, because I’ve been doing it since our oldest was just a year old (through step-parent adoption, and Christ’s Love, she’s mine).  I even fiercely love her birth momma and pray for her on the regular, but that situation is tougher than I can articulate through a blog post (maybe someday).

Never mind the fact that I know in my heart I fiercely love all children I meet, even the random children that play with my kids at the park for an afternoon, or the neighbor kids who stay for supper, or the kiddos who play video games in our basement.

Lord, I KNOW my heart is aching to adopt a child, maybe even several children, and to serve the poor, care for the weak and needy. 

But HOW?!  How God, do I do that without giving up too much of my cushy life?  How do I get my family on board?  Where is the community of people you talk about in the Bible?  Because I’m going to need their support to do this.

 Why aren’t we ALL adopting?  How do my husband and I agree to take on the tough stuff like this, when I feel like we’ve already endured so much of the tough stuff and now it’s “our turn” to just enjoy the good life?

Or maybe it’s time I do give up some of this cushy life.  Maybe it’s time I quit pinning all the things I want in a new home on my Pinterest board and shift my focus to your sweet orphans. 

But Lord, can you send me some pins that teach me how to do that?  Can you e-mail me a link to a blog post that describes my heart, and shows me a step-by-step outline of what comes next?  Because God, if you don’t send it through my e-mail, there is a strong chance I may totally miss it.  You see I’m fired up right now, but I know my wandering heart, it’s going to be checking Facebook and trying a new cookie recipe from the internet in less than a couple hours from now.  I’m going to get a Gap or Children’s Place e-mail with a coupon code and fully take advantage of that-  But what I WANT to do, is live for you.  I want to care for your children, but my e-mail hasn’t shown up yet telling me how to do this.  

On a day by day basis I am so focused on materialistic and earthly things.  I’m so sick of it.  I’m ready to live a deeper life that is beyond ME and all about YOU.

Show me how.