just thinking.

Today I'm day dreaming of home improvement projects. 
My handy husband and a neighbor put more insulation in the attic last weekend before our princess's birthday party.  It wasn't until that evening when we went to bed that I noticed a crack in our ceiling.. yes. a CRACK.  Mr. B lost his balance for a split second while blowing in insulation, barely touching his shoe to the sheet rock.. but that's all it took to land us a crack in the bedroom.  (and thankfully that's all that happened)
Oddly enough, I like it.  It gives our room character.  But it needs to be fixed.  And it won't be an easy fix, since it's about 2 feet long.  We have textured walls/ceilings, so getting it to blend back in will be terribly difficult.  Great. One more thing to add to the to-do list.  Until then, I'm just going to enjoy it :-)  It reminds me that my husband works hard to provide for our family, and wants us to stay warm this winter. awww...

Okay- more seriously need to touch up paint like our whole house.  I can't even begin to count all the places that need to be touched up.  From moving furniture to toys being driven along the walls, we've got at least half a day of paint touch up to do.

I'd like to paint my daughters room, but right now that has been re-purposed to a play room for the winter.  She is camping out w/ the prince.  So we will paint that when we know what we want to do with it.

Some days I want to quickly finish every little project and get this place on the market, other days I just love it and want to keep personalizing it. 
Honestly we could stand to have more living space.  Especially to house all the children we'd like to have.  Once our basement is done I think we will be more content,, and when I say "we", I actually mean that I would be more content.

I am super unhappy with our dining room situation.  I want the table on tile, not carpet, since there are pretty much always spills at meal times, and most of them make it to the carpet.  The space we do have to move the table to tile is tiny.  And I would need to move our massive hutch first. 
I am in love with this farm house table from knock-off wood.  I want a huge dining room table with the option to make it smaller, I have the perfect idea for it, just not the perfect space.

I have no idea what my style is.  I have said for yeeeeears that I want a cute decorated home.  I love the looks of super modern, but also think the farm house style is adorable.  I have a pretty basic ranch home, neutral colored walls/carpet & tile.

I'm typing whatever comes to mind- so the next thing coming to mind is we are thinking of replacing our carpet.  Either with new carpet, or wood flooring.  I think wood floors would look beautiful, and maybe even make our home look bigger if we could do the kitchen also, but holy crap, it's expensive!  Our home is 1568 sq. feet.  So we might be spending like $5000 on a project like that, just for the new materials.  It's hard to be thrifty and justify $5000 for flooring on a 5 year old home.  So the flooring will wait a few more years.

Focus.... I need to focus...

I pulled all the carpet out of our basement, we had several square chunks that we got a cheap soon after we built our house.  They were dirty, & didn't match, but did make it more cozy.

My goal from now until the end of the year is to spend as little as possible on groceries, and put as much money and time as possible into our basement. 
That is after we get Chad's car fixed.. He has a coolant leak, the shop estimated it would cost about $600 to fix.  Which reminds me, we really need to work on an emergency savings account.  My brother has said he will try to fix it first, and if he's unable to (which wont happen, he can fix anything) then we'll take it back to the shop and pay the stupid $600.

I will say without me having a car this week we are saving money (no shopping!).  & I kind of like being stranded at home, I don't have an excuse for not to getting my "chores" done. 
It has allowed me more time to plan for my overnight away from home.  I know I keep talking about that... I'm quite positive it will be a significant adventure for me.

Of course.

• Nausea
• Heart burn
• Sleeping a ton
• light abdominal cramping

and yes.. .of course, a period.  again. 

11 months of trying to conceive and still no luck. 

God knows we're broke, our marriage is in deep crap, but doesn't he also know that we are great parents and will do whatever it takes to raise a happy christian family?

I am so sick of bawling my eyes out every month because PCOS has won again.  My ovaries hurt.  I want to rip them out of my body, curl up in a ball & sleep for a million years.  And as if the physical pain isn't enough this emotional garbage just puts me over the top.  I cannot stop crying, it doesn't matter where I am, what I'm doing.. It comes on so sudden... My eyes fill with tears and within a minute they're running down my face.  It's not even like I'm depressed (although right this minute, I may be feeling a bit of that, it will pass soon), sometimes I'm just so happy I can't help but cry.
 

I give up... I give the crap up. 

I'm not one for "If it happens, it happens".  So maybe it's time that I say I give up.  I don't want this.  Because if I stop hoping for it, and it doesn't happen, then I really have nothing to be discouraged about. 

I like to have a plan.  For e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  I like that a lot.  And when my plans don't work out, I don't adjust well.  I'm not adjusting well to this right now. 

I really thought this was the month.  I really really did. 

But this is all apart of God's plan... I just wish I understood a little of it... Or at least wish I could handle it like an adult and not like a whiny baby. 

Good night blogspot.


PS.. I'm frustrated.. I don't even know what I'm saying.

Holiday Cards

How do you feel about holiday cards?  To our family, they're Christmas cards and when they come we are so excited!  The kids and I just love checking the mail through out December and seeing updated pictures of our family and friends.  Some whom we haven't seen in months, years, and others who we have just recently seen, but it's still great to get an update with what they've been doing. 
I love the hand written notes, those are priceless.  The long winded double sided folded printer paper stuffed in an envelope with a picture is awesome too.  I have hopes of doing those every year, but of course, I am a busy mother of two, and above all a procrastinator.
So, because of my wonderful procrastination habits, I order my Christmas cards online, get them mailed here, address them when I have time and mail them out.  Simple. easy, and affordable.
I do have friends who buy coordinating outfits for their family MONTHS in advance, get pictures done for the card, in addition to the long winded double sided folded printer paper of what they've been up to.  To those of you who do this, you rock, and thank you.. Please keep it up!  To make it a little simpler you may want to use the Shutterfly greeting cards, or Story Cards

As far as a gift idea to go with a few of those holiday cards, why don't you include some canvas wall art?  I had a picture of our wedding rings in a flower made into canvas and it turned out beautiful!  Check out this link to see what Shutterfly has to offer.

I imagine our family will most likely use the basic Christmas cards this year.  There are some really beautiful layouts to chose from.

Have fun!!
Oh & if you're a blogger like me- read this!
Bloggers get 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly, follow the arrow à  http://bit.ly/sfly2010 

I have grown as a mother so much the past couple of years.  I feel blessed to have women in my life who are good examples of what a Godly wife/mother looks like.  Because quite honestly, I'm not so sure I would've gotten it on my own.

So this weekend I am being blessed with the opportunity to attend Heats at home.  Everything I've heard from moms who have gone before, as well as what I've read online makes this sound like it is exactly what I could use right now.

Please pray for God to bless all the moms attending and their families back at home. 

Please pray for my husband and children to be not just okay, but to have a wonderful time bonding together while I'm gone.

I am praying for safe travels for our group of moms going, and for God to open my heart and allow me to learn and gladly receive the blessings of the speakers.

I will take plenty of notes during the workshops & I will gladly share what I learn :-)

Life is great.  Birthday party for our beautiful princess tomorrow, putting insulation in the attic, & loooooving every minute of our life together!  woo hoo!
Next weekend I have the opportunity to go to a moms conference, I'm super excited about that and will post more on that once it happens! 

May God bless each and every one of you precious people reading this! :-)